Without Pretense

Oh wow, just having gone through this process of setting up my blog makes me feel better. It's one of those things that I've told myself I need to do, but just hadn't gotten around to it. Usually I figure I'll just wait till I get home and write a "note" on FB, but once i step in the door at my home i never know what is gonna come at me! There's so many responsibilities when I step into the house, I often don't get time to myself until late. And really, at that point I need to be winding down and getting ready for bed.

This way I can process some of the things that are running through my mind from anywhere, including work.

Having set up my blog is one of the many things that I woke up this morning and said I needed to do. The other big thing I did (in addition to my work LOL) was set up an appointment with a local therapist. Local to my job, that is. Part of my issue has been feeling rushed, too many places to be at a certain time; trying to rush from home to work, work to church, church to home to get the baby in the bed, etc.

I haven't had a therapist in months. Since the beginning of 2009. I think it's time to bring back some structure that makes me feel a little more secure. Hopefully she'll work out. She seemed cool on the phone.

I'm already knowing that some people will gasp at the idea of me seeing a therapist. I notice a lot of Christians like to say "just give it to Jesus" and other cliche's. I agree. Without giving everything to Jesus I couldn't make it. Jesus gives me hope that no therapist can ever give me. I also find myself in moments where all I can say is "Jesus I need you to help me right now" and no therapist, doctor, or program could ever take care of the issues that I am facing.

BUT, if a person has cancer, who tells them to skip their doctors visits and just pray about it? LOL

God is so awesome. I couldn't live this life without HIM. And I mean that literally. Without God I really would either be in prison, a psychiatric hospital or in hell. And God knows none of those places are where I would want to be.

In case you're nervous, I'm not gonna just blog about psychiatric problems! I think I'll just leave it open, to whatever I feel on any given day. As part of the reevaluating I'm doing in my life right now I have to take a step back from some things. My daughter has had a rough week. She's sleep deprived and therefore acting ugly. I can't have a child who's sleep deprived. I will need to step back and see what nights I need to stay home because "ministry" on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights, sometimes Saturday mornings and all day Sunday IN ADDITION to holding down my full time job, being a wife, mom, and a type A personality is starting to take it's toll.

I am not superwoman. I realized this last year about this time, and this is a good time to remind myself. I have limitations and responsibilities that I have to address in order to be the "whole woman" that I strive to be.

And God is faithful.