Dear Graduate

Dear Graduate,

Congratulations on your graduation! For some of you, just making it this far was a major accomplishment. For others, high school was just a speed bump on the road to the rest of your life. No matter what high school represented for you, graduation marks the end of a chapter in your life story.

When someone writes a book there is an expectation that one chapter will flow quite naturally into the next. In a chapter book you don’t expect a total cast change, a new plot, or new writing style from the chapter that preceded it. I am here to tell you that in the book of your life you are allowed to switch it up. You have my permission (and more importantly, God’s permission) to decide whether you want your next chapter to make a 180͒, 90͒, or any turn from the last one. Your new chapter doesn’t have to be conventional. “It is for freedom Christ has set [you] free.” (Gal 5:1 NIV)

 You might find yourself in a place where you don’t know what you want to do in life. You may not know whether or not you want to further your education, which course of study you want to follow, what program to join, or what job to take. I am here to let you know that at your age, it is perfectly acceptable to not know! Don’t feel that you’ve got to fake knowing. But do know this: “[God] knows the plans He has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, [plans] to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) He wants you to be successful. He wants you to thrive. He sent Jesus so that you could have abundant life- life far exceeding the best dreams your imagination can dream up. He doesn’t want you to just “make it.” He wants you to overcome!

That said, several of you are worried, even fearful, that you will miss God’s “call” or “plan” for your lives. Don’t worry about this any longer. God promises that He orders our steps. This implies that you have to take some steps if you want God to order them! He can’t do much with a person who refuses to move, because God never forces Himself on us. But if you are “moving,” you are giving your God something to work with! While you are taking a job that you think you might be interested in, He can make it clear to you while you are working whether it is His plan for you, or He can use the connections you make on that job to catapult you into the next step of your life. I can go on-and-on about this, but instead of belaboring the point I want to make sure you understand that the bottom line is that you have to DO SOMETHING. Doing “nothing” is not an option. Volunteer somewhere, join a missions team, study a language in a different country, go to college, get a job...just do SOMETHING! I do have to add a disclaimer here though: Let’s be practical; if you are expected by the parents/guardians who have been financially supporting you to start to pay your own bills, you will have to be realistic in your decisions. When someone else is supporting you financially, you do need their buy-in!

Make a Cast Change

What I’m about to tell you may shock you, and even break your heart. The people that have been in your life up to this point may not make it into future chapters of your life story. In fact, graduating high school is a great time to cut off relationships with people that you don’t want to continue with in life. Your best friend in high school may not be your best friend after high school. I have figured out something after having gone through several life changes over the last several years of my life: each time you change chapters in your life story, there will be new characters. It is natural for people to not have a falling out, but just move on! It need not be drama. Make new friends who have goals, work ethic, and a relationship with God who push you toward your purpose. Don’t keep friends only because you are comfortable around them. Staying in your comfort zone is a great way to guarantee that you won’t reach your potential in life! If you come from a healthy home environment, keep in mind that these people will be your supporting cast. They will show up in multiple chapters. Their roles may change. Learn to create healthy boundaries in your relationships to make sure that their roles are appropriate for the chapter you are in. I highly recommend the book “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

Refuse to Be Defined (by anyone other than your Creator) 

You can be whomever you choose to be in this next chapter. You may have had a “reputation” in life up until now, but you don’t have to continue to be that person. For that matter, maybe you never were the person that people labeled you as! Don’t let labels that other people try to place on you become your reality, especially if they were wrong in the first place! I hate to hear people say things like “well, since people think I’m [insert your accusation here] then i might as well [insert fulfillment of their judgement here].” Stop! Don’t do that! Don’t give them, no matter who “they” are, the power to affect the rest of your life! You can decide what habits you want to break and work to reverse them in this chapter of your life. You can even pick up and relocate if it is necessary to escape the bondages of your past. It’s not running from your past if you right the wrongs and then move on! Whether it is literally “moving” or just allowing yourself to “move on” don’t be defined by your past mistakes. In reality, the mistakes that you have made and embarrassments you have experienced seem really huge right now. I promise you, they are not as major as they seem. It is an illusion! Take your cue from Elsa and “let it go!”. In the long term, people will forget what happened or what you did. You’re gonna make a lot of mistakes in life. Just keep it pushin. And remember that the way God feels about you will not change! He is still madly in love with you even when you err. And He promises that “as far as the east is from the west so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” (Ps 103:12 NIV) “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” (Romans 8:1,2) Go, live your life in the freedom that God has extended to you. Don’t allow unhappy people to define who you are! God made you, and when He was done He admired His work. The New Living Translation of God’s Word (Eph 2:10) says this “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

Go! Write the chapters of your life by actually living, not just watching others to see what they are doing. You will have an incredible story. Walk in freedom! Be encouraged, and enjoy the new chapter you have started.