Today for some reason I feel a little bit in turmoil mentally. I feel like the reality of the battlefield of the mind, for the mind, etc. is literally taking place in my consciousness. Sometimes we are aware of it. A lot of the time, I noticed, people aren't.
I'm glad you were interested in taking this journey with me today.
So this battle right now comes down to a simple thing. Insecurity. Wow. Yep. I feel that a lot of the time I am a little more "secure" than a lot of women are, but really it has nothing to do with me as much as I am AWARE of the battle going on. What I'm saying is that I feel any and every woman, by the grace of God can have a greater state of security than those who are not in touch with the God who created them.
We are secure because #1 We know that we are created by God, #2 in His image, and #3 we were fearfully and wonderfully made. Like my hubby says...no one can be better at being "me" than I can! Our value is placed in these things. It has nothing to do with what one's job is (whether they have one or not?!?), how much money one has, how many friends one has, or how beautiful one is considered.
I do think there is so much female-on-female "crime" (I mean it figuratively) because we are very prone to comparing ourselves, hating on someone because they have something we want, we're jealous, etc. It makes me cringe just thinking about it. Men do it to; it's just more prevalent with woman, maybe because we're the ones who talk about it.
Anyway, I digress. So, today I feel 30% discouraged. But 70% of my thoughts combat that discouragement. If I had wallowed in it I could easily end up 50/50 or worse...but I am choosing to blog some of my affirmations that I will use.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
God made no mistake when he created me, nor does He make mistakes as He orders my steps.
I'm a good woman!
I'm a woman of God!
Though sometimes things are difficult and are a struggle God is faithful, and I'm an overcomer!
Things aren't always gonna be like this...
God has never left me, and he won't forsake me in the future.
He gives me the tools and the fortitude I need to accomplish that which He has for me.
He won't leave me hanging!
My marriage will be happier as the years go by.
My dog will stop pooping in the house one day!
Aria is only a 2 year old and her attitudes sometimes have NOTHING to do with me making any kind of mistake.
I have great friends who love me and care for me.
I am so blessed to know God.
I am so blessed to have coping skills such as using Affirmations!
I am feeling better already...
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I am valuable to God and to the church body.
No one can replace my contribution (of myself) to the world around me.
I will encourage myself, and I'm also blessed to have people around me who encourage me as well!
I am more than a conqueror.
My husband loves me.
Even though it isn't the same as when we first fell in love, it is a more mature love; we've been through some things together.
I can allow myself to make mistakes.
I can continue to be ME and God is pleased :)
Oooh...I feel a LOT better. Now I can continue about my afternoon! Be encouraged. Affirmations have a lot of power. Don't know where to start? Start with the Word of God!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Treading Water
Whoa. What a week. It's only Wednesday? I feel like today should be Friday. I am still at work and it's almost 7pm. Where do I start?
So, it's been a while since I've blogged. Reason? Well, for one, when in the midst of some serious stuff I cannot allow myself to blog...because I'm without pretense, remember? I had some crazy emotions, thoughts, etc. last week that had I blogged, ya'll would've been calling the police(this woman might just kill someone! LOL), the intercessors (actually I should've called them myself), my momma, and the senior pastors saying how the heck did ya'll let this woman be on the pastoral team?
Ok, all jokes aside; last week was kinda tumultuous. I think what it boils down to is CHANGE. A lot is changing in my life right now and in the near future. Actually a lot isn't presently changing, but when the curve ball was thrown at me of "hey you're only employed till the end of this year" I had to start planning AHEAD. I started to get too far ahead of myself I think. All of a sudden I'm attending psychology program open houses, thinking about financial aid and scholarships for school, planning for 2010 for H2O (the youth program), in addition to dealing with the news of my coworkers situations (one is on chemo and won't be back before we close down, another's spouse has stage 3 cancer and has to do chemo, so she's rarely gonna be around, waiting for my other beloved coworker to come back from maternity leave in another week, and then the "one" that I don't like is the one I'm with EVERY DAY!). Oh yeah, and then my responsibilities of being a mom, wife, part-time housekeeper (Charles is part-time housekeeper right now too), occassional chef, and DOG TRAINER (what the heck? I know...my husband is tired of the dog pooping on the fireplace) oh my....wait my incubation time is up in the lab. I'll be back after I finish this experiment...
Ok. Yeah, so I've decided that I'm gonna tread water for the next couple of months. I'm not going to swim to any "destination" right now, I'm just gonna do what I have to do to keep myself mentally, and physically above water. The interesting thing about this is it requires stepping up my game as far as my spiritual life. Gone are the days of not cracking open the Bible on a daily basis! Yeah, I said it...I haven't always opened my Bible on a daily basis! But God knows, I've got to. The tv, movies and other entertainment right now are put on pause for the most part until I can at least get to Hawaii! Oh thank God Hawaii is on the horizon. I won't say the dates because this is the internet (my house does have an alarm system and a very attentive neighbor). Meanwhile some of the more ambitious goals have to be put on back burner. And I'm okay with that. Master's program? Sure, just not starting in January. Maybe I'll take one psych class and maybe a Bible college class if my hubby takes one I'm interested in. It'll be nice to go to class together! I'm looking forward to treading water till the end of the 2009...and then, finally swimming to a new stage of life in 2010.
So, it's been a while since I've blogged. Reason? Well, for one, when in the midst of some serious stuff I cannot allow myself to blog...because I'm without pretense, remember? I had some crazy emotions, thoughts, etc. last week that had I blogged, ya'll would've been calling the police(this woman might just kill someone! LOL), the intercessors (actually I should've called them myself), my momma, and the senior pastors saying how the heck did ya'll let this woman be on the pastoral team?
Ok, all jokes aside; last week was kinda tumultuous. I think what it boils down to is CHANGE. A lot is changing in my life right now and in the near future. Actually a lot isn't presently changing, but when the curve ball was thrown at me of "hey you're only employed till the end of this year" I had to start planning AHEAD. I started to get too far ahead of myself I think. All of a sudden I'm attending psychology program open houses, thinking about financial aid and scholarships for school, planning for 2010 for H2O (the youth program), in addition to dealing with the news of my coworkers situations (one is on chemo and won't be back before we close down, another's spouse has stage 3 cancer and has to do chemo, so she's rarely gonna be around, waiting for my other beloved coworker to come back from maternity leave in another week, and then the "one" that I don't like is the one I'm with EVERY DAY!). Oh yeah, and then my responsibilities of being a mom, wife, part-time housekeeper (Charles is part-time housekeeper right now too), occassional chef, and DOG TRAINER (what the heck? I know...my husband is tired of the dog pooping on the fireplace) oh my....wait my incubation time is up in the lab. I'll be back after I finish this experiment...
Ok. Yeah, so I've decided that I'm gonna tread water for the next couple of months. I'm not going to swim to any "destination" right now, I'm just gonna do what I have to do to keep myself mentally, and physically above water. The interesting thing about this is it requires stepping up my game as far as my spiritual life. Gone are the days of not cracking open the Bible on a daily basis! Yeah, I said it...I haven't always opened my Bible on a daily basis! But God knows, I've got to. The tv, movies and other entertainment right now are put on pause for the most part until I can at least get to Hawaii! Oh thank God Hawaii is on the horizon. I won't say the dates because this is the internet (my house does have an alarm system and a very attentive neighbor). Meanwhile some of the more ambitious goals have to be put on back burner. And I'm okay with that. Master's program? Sure, just not starting in January. Maybe I'll take one psych class and maybe a Bible college class if my hubby takes one I'm interested in. It'll be nice to go to class together! I'm looking forward to treading water till the end of the 2009...and then, finally swimming to a new stage of life in 2010.
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