Lay offs

So, it is officially out that I will soon be laid off. November 30th MAY be my last date of employment by my present company.

I'm excited. God has been putting so many things in my heart over the last year. Having one door closed means that other doors will open, and I can't wait to see what is around the corner!

I think I want to get my Masters, maybe even PhD in adolescent or cultural psychology. Or something related. The great thing is now having this news I am free to be more transparent with my boss about the direction that I'd like to go. I've known since I took this job 5 years ago that while I LOVE my work as a chemist, it was only temporary.

What's next? I'm glad I've started blogging, so I'll keep you posted.

God is sovereign.

Stewardship

For some reason this has been on my mind today. In no way am I an extreme conservationist, but I figure I might as well make some lifestyle changes and small things that will help me be a better steward of this earth and its resources.

I'm trying to recycle, but gosh it's hard with a husband in the house LOL. I don't know if it's worth going back in the trash to sort it after the fact. I'm not there yet if it is. I like to carry reusable shopping bags. Part of this is because of "saving the earth" but the other is because God knows I hate to bust through plastic or paper shopping bags. They are never strong enough! And then they dig into your hand (the plastic ones, that is) when you are carrying them. And then when I've used them I always find myself collecting a whole bunch of them until I finally take them to the supermarket recycling bin.

I use CFL lightbulbs. Now that I'm typing, I realize a lot of these actions are because it is more convenient for me rather than for the earth's sake! CFLs last a lot longer than the "regular" bulbs. And sometimes their cheaper too. It's a win-win for me and the environment.

Junk faxes? I used to actually look at the faxes at my job that say "Trip to Jamaica for only $199" and then I realize they're all a bunch of rip-offs! So at work I find myself calling every "remove my fax number from the list" phone number listed on each one. At one point we used to have 10-20 of these faxes per day. Today's total? 2. And I called to remove the number from those two lists.

See, I'm a little random. Sometimes things might be serious issues; sometimes just things I'm thinking about that are not that deep. Then again, depth is a matter of perception. So maybe recycling is more deep than mental health.

Be free to be you.

Without Pretense

Oh wow, just having gone through this process of setting up my blog makes me feel better. It's one of those things that I've told myself I need to do, but just hadn't gotten around to it. Usually I figure I'll just wait till I get home and write a "note" on FB, but once i step in the door at my home i never know what is gonna come at me! There's so many responsibilities when I step into the house, I often don't get time to myself until late. And really, at that point I need to be winding down and getting ready for bed.

This way I can process some of the things that are running through my mind from anywhere, including work.

Having set up my blog is one of the many things that I woke up this morning and said I needed to do. The other big thing I did (in addition to my work LOL) was set up an appointment with a local therapist. Local to my job, that is. Part of my issue has been feeling rushed, too many places to be at a certain time; trying to rush from home to work, work to church, church to home to get the baby in the bed, etc.

I haven't had a therapist in months. Since the beginning of 2009. I think it's time to bring back some structure that makes me feel a little more secure. Hopefully she'll work out. She seemed cool on the phone.

I'm already knowing that some people will gasp at the idea of me seeing a therapist. I notice a lot of Christians like to say "just give it to Jesus" and other cliche's. I agree. Without giving everything to Jesus I couldn't make it. Jesus gives me hope that no therapist can ever give me. I also find myself in moments where all I can say is "Jesus I need you to help me right now" and no therapist, doctor, or program could ever take care of the issues that I am facing.

BUT, if a person has cancer, who tells them to skip their doctors visits and just pray about it? LOL

God is so awesome. I couldn't live this life without HIM. And I mean that literally. Without God I really would either be in prison, a psychiatric hospital or in hell. And God knows none of those places are where I would want to be.

In case you're nervous, I'm not gonna just blog about psychiatric problems! I think I'll just leave it open, to whatever I feel on any given day. As part of the reevaluating I'm doing in my life right now I have to take a step back from some things. My daughter has had a rough week. She's sleep deprived and therefore acting ugly. I can't have a child who's sleep deprived. I will need to step back and see what nights I need to stay home because "ministry" on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights, sometimes Saturday mornings and all day Sunday IN ADDITION to holding down my full time job, being a wife, mom, and a type A personality is starting to take it's toll.

I am not superwoman. I realized this last year about this time, and this is a good time to remind myself. I have limitations and responsibilities that I have to address in order to be the "whole woman" that I strive to be.

And God is faithful.